Picture Overload

My friend Stef is an amazing photographer. She was supposed to do our maternity shoot and our new born shoot. Since Maddy came so early we didn’t get to do our maternity shoot. So she came to the hospital to take some photos of Madeline in the hospital. And then once she got out of the hospital we did our full maternity shoot. Here is a photo overload!




















Madeline’s first days

Madeline’s first days were spent in the NICU. She was born on Tuesday and I was able to stay in the hospital until Friday. I thankfully had a private room that was right next door to the NICU. That made life a little easier for me. I could go visit when ever I wanted. I could feed her and then go back to my room and rest. It was wonderful being close to her. It was hard on Rob because he wasn’t staying so he was going back and forth. Also he was trying to close up some work things (since we really weren’t expecting to be taking time off yet!) We spent as much time with her as possible. But also trying to find a balance of not wearing ourselves out. Once I was discharged I found it really exhausting and emotionally draining. I had such a hard time leaving her every day. There was lots of tears and anxiety. The NICU nurses were amazing. They were loving and compassionate. They were knowledgeable and so helpful. It did help knowing that Madeline was in such good hands. Since we spent so much time at the hospital we really got to know the nurses and the other hospital staff. I actually got really emotional when it was time to take her home because I had gotten quite attached to the nurses!


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But getting home sure was wonderful. Madeline was really lucky – she was able to come home so quickly. She was only in the hospital for 2-1/2 weeks. We are so thankful that her lungs were good and everything really was developed properly. Mostly she needed to learn to eat. She started with a feeding tube and then slowly got her breastfeeding and bottle feeding. She was and still is entirely on breastmilk – some of it just comes through a bottle. She finds it hard to suck so the bottle is easier for her. The older she gets, the stronger her suck will be and the better breastfeeding with get. We love Madeline. I love being a mom. It is the best thing ever. Yes, Im not a fan of 2am feedings but she is so cute and so sweet that it is totally worth it!!


Madeline’s Birth Story

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram you will already know that Madeline was born much earlier then expected. Here is her birth story.

On Sunday July 20th Rob left the house really early to pick up some groceries before we started our day. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had some bloody show. Rob of course forgot his phone (which he never does!) so I went into panic mode. I quickly called the hospital and the nurse told me to watch the blood and take it easy for the day. I laid down and rested till Rob got home. I took it easy for the day – until late in the afternoon when we had plans to go to Rob’s cousin for dinner. I was having some mild cramping but my bleeding had pretty much stopped. I wasn’t worried – I knew that dinner would be restful and relaxing. As we sat with the Davis’s I found that my stomach was still hardening – I wasn’t sure if it was baby pushing against my stomach as she often did or if it was braxton hicks. I didn’t want to make a fuss about it while we were at dinner. By the time we got home I was pretty sure I was having braxton hicks. They weren’t too regular and I wasn’t bleeding any more so I figured everything would be ok.
I went to bed pretty early – the stress of wondering and worrying all day had made me pretty tired. I noticed that I have several more braxton hicks but I was always able to sleep through them even though I was aware of them. Around midnight they woke me up. They were much harder and felt like they were pretty close together. I went and sat in the living room so I could move around and try to make them go away and not disturb Rob since we both had to work the next morning. By 2am I was still awake. I had decided I was going to take Monday off since I was still awake and having braxton hicks – or what I thought was braxton hicks. I was pretty worried so I phoned my mom (its great knowing she is always up late!) and we talked for a long time. We timed the contractions and they seemed like they were every 15 or so minutes but not too painful and no true consistent pattern. I decided I would wait until Rob got up for work and then phone the hospital.
Around 4 they were getting stronger, more painful and were coming regularly every 15 and sometimes 12 minutes apart. I called the hospital and they said that I needed to come in right away. But the NICU at Burnaby Hospital – where my doctor was and where I was supposed to deliver – was closed so I would have to go to Royal Columbian. I woke Rob up and off we went. We got there and got hooked up to the monitors. They were tracking my contractions as well as the baby. Once I was admitted and hooked up it seemed like the contractions started to slow, the baby was doing well, but her heart rate was a little high. They thought I was dehydrated so they started giving me lots and lots of water. That seemed to help the contractions stop and the heart rate to go down. They checked me out and I was 1cm dilated. They did a group B strep test and then decided that they also wanted to do an ultrasound to double check that everything was ok with the baby. They scheduled it for 10:30 am.
Close to 10 they came and told me that it had been delayed until 3 – and I had to stay at the hospital until then. I wasn’t happy but thought that it would be smart to get the ultrasound done. They unhooked me from the monitors so that I was free to move around. They said that the baby was good and my contractions seemed to have slowed and almost stopped. For the next several hours I sat and waited – for what seemed like forever. My back was really hurting the whole time. I mentioned it to the nurse and she said it was probably from sitting on the bed for so long. She gave me a hot blanket and told me to keep that on my back and it would probably help. It didn’t really but I kept doing it. Finally had the ultrasound and then had to wait a while for the doctor to come and release me. They hadn’t checked on me or the baby in several hours. The doctor came and talked to me – didn’t do any exam or anything but released me to go home.
I almost found it strange that they were releasing me since even walking out the door my back was in major pain. By the time we got home it was almost unbearable. And it kind of felt like I was having cramps again. I tried to eat some dinner – Rob went and picked up Donairs while I laid down to rest but I just couldn’t. I was in too much pain. I was sure I was having braxton hicks or something. And then they started coming really close and super intense. There was a shift from discomfort and unpleasantness to pain. Rob started timing and they were about 5 minutes apart. I knew that meant labour. I was pretty worried since we were still so early – only 34 weeks. Just as I was about to call the hospital I got a massive nose bleed. So I was standing trying to breath through the contractions and get my nose to stop bleeding! Rob had to call the Burnaby Hospital because I couldn’t talk, hold my nose and breath through contractions.  Then the nurse couldn’t find me in the system and was a bit hesitant to take me as they were short staffed. Finally they told me to just come in and they would figure it all out.
We scrambled around gathering things we thought we would probably want at the hospital. I still didn’t totally believe that this was the real thing. As we were driving I had several contractions – most of the pain was in my lower back. All day when I was at Royal Columbian complaining about my back hurting I was having back labour! Driving and having contractions isn’t fun!! We got to the hospital parking lot and I made Rob stop in the driveway to let me out so I could move around. We got admitted and went up to labour and delivery. We found out the best doctor – Dr. Moore was working that night – she was the number 1 doctor that we wanted to deliver our baby. They had called another nurse in to come and take care of us – and the nurse was Ana – a nurse we had seen the month before when we had come in earlier due to a little scare (baby not moving enough). We loved Ana and we loved Dr. Moore so right away we both felt more at ease. The other nurse that was taking care of us Jill was also fantastic and put us at ease.
They checked me out and I was 4-5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. When I arrived at the hospital. Just a few hours after being discharged from Royal Columbian because I “wasn’t” in labour! They moved me into a awesome birthing suite. Because I was preterm they had to have me hooked up to be constantly monitored. I wasn’t happy about that. I had really wanted freedom to walk and move around. Being hooked up I really didn’t have that. It was an ordeal just to get up to go to the bathroom. I was also given an IV – which I was even more unhappy about. I needed penicillin to prevent any infection. I think having the IV was one of the worst parts of labour. It hurt in my hand pretty much the whole time. It was constricting. If I tried to move or roll over I had to be so careful. I was not a fan. I think I was also pretty good about letting everyone know that too 😉
By the time I was checked in, and checked out and everything I think it was probably around 11:30pm. We texted my mom who promptly called and I talked to in between contractions. We called Rob’s mom who was really worried about me and the baby since we were early – I tried to calm her down between contractions! We sent Avital a text but missed her by a few minutes. She had just gone to bed and slept through the whole thing. She found out the next morning when David (my cousin) woke her to tell her because he saw on Facebook! We told people not to come to the hospital yet, we figured it was better to let people wait until we knew how quickly things would progress.

Labour progressed. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was hard. Intense. Painful. But not in a a cut my finger off and want to cry but in a I have bad cramps kind of way. What really, really helped me get through each contraction was thinking of it as a wave. It started, it peaked and it reseeded. I would wait for it to peak so I would know when it would be the worst, and then it would recede and I knew I had made it through another one. They started to get more intense and they seemed to be right on top of each other. Sometime in there Rob had called our families. My mom and Rob’s mom and brother all showed up at the same time. Rob asked my mom to come in, and I am so so glad he did. I needed both of them for the end. By the time I was in transition I was exhausted. I had been up since Sunday night and it was now Monday night and I hadn’t slept at all. It was fast and intense. So intense. I felt powerful and in control, but wow it was intense. Then came pushing. I had a melt down. I know I was very loud! I didn’t think I could do it. I was so hot. And so tired. And it hurt. It really hurt. I know that I said that I couldn’t do it. I remember the doctor laughing a little and telling me that it was kind of too late for that! I actually really appreciated the doctors dry sense of humor.  Thankful I didn’t have to push for too long. My mom suggested getting on my hands and knees to help with the back labour. I tried that and it helped so much. So that is how I pushed our little girl out. On my hands and knees. Hooked up to monitors and IV’s. There was a team of people – I don’t even know who all was there. 2 nurses – Ana had gone home at this point but Jill and Hilary were there (love them both) and Dr. Moore. And a pediatrician. And at least 1 if not 2 NICU nurses. I really didn’t care any more. I just wanted the baby out!
We had told Dr. Moore that I really wanted to hold the baby as soon as she came out. I was told that as long as she cried right away I could hold her for a minute before they took her to the NICU. As soon as she came out she gave a perfect cry and they put her on my chest! They waiting till the cord finished pulsating – as per our request and then Rob cut the cord. While I was holding her on my chest and totally enamoured with her face – they stabbed me in the thigh with oxytocin – I yelled at the nurse because I was so surprised. She laughed and said she timed it so she knew I would be distracted be the baby. The placenta came out so fast I hardly noticed. They took the baby away, Rob went down to the NICU with her and everyone left. Rob came back and brought in his mom and brother and my mom was there and we announced her name – Madeline Anne. Then everyone left again. I don`t really know where they went! Thankfully my mom was still there because I was just left alone for like an hour! Finally Rob came back, and the nurses came back and they cleaned me up and un hooked me and took me down to my room. Rob and I went and had a little visit with Madeline in the NICU. Rob got to hold her for his first time and I got to hold her again. She was so tiny and perfect. She was in an incubator to help her regulate her body temperature. She had a feeding tube but other then that she had no issues. We oohed and aahed over her for a while and then Rob went home to nap and I went to my room to nap. And that is the beginning of Madeline!

Life lately

My mind has been heavy lately.

One of my customers recently passed away. She was older(ish) and a heavy smoker. She had lung cancer. It was very quick. She was literally at work one day and then she was gone. She worked in a small family business. Her father used to run it but he is very old and no longer working. So it was her and her brother. With her gone the company will be as well. So in a blink of an eye these 2 people I spoke to almost daily for the last 7 years are gone.  I feel sad. I didn’t know her well, only met her face to face once but still, I am sad.

One of my other customers is retiring in a month. He’s one of my favorites. Such a sweet man. Always a kind and encouraging word every time I talk to him. Since I’ve been pregnant he always reminds me to put my feet up, or take it easy. Or drink lots of water. He’s caring and kind. I will miss him.

Another dear friend of ours has just found out he has cancer. He is young – my age. Just married – not even a year yet. I feel so helpless. I want to DO something. I pray daily. Multiple times – but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough. I want to help make him well. We are doing our best to support them and love them in anyway that they need. But my heart breaks. I can’t imagine the fear they must be feeling.

Another sadness for me. My childhood best friend -a woman who has known me through every stage of my life has packed up her entire life – and husband and 2 young daughters and moved across the world (literally) to serve. I’m SO sad to see her go. When we said goodbye at the airport and she rubbed my belly and told me and the baby how much she loved us I thought my heart would break into a million pieces. We promised we wouldn’t cry because we didn’t want the girls to be upset. And we kept our promise – which made saying goodbye a little harder. But when she hugged me and walked away I felt like part of me walked away too. I’m missing her girls growing up. And she is missing me becoming a mother -she won’t hold and snuggle my baby until she is 1-1/2 old. Yes there is skype and email and facebook and a million ways to talk still and I am so thankful for that. But I’m sad. I’m beyond proud of her. She has had this call on her life to serve since she was a little girl. She spent years as a child as a missionary and I’ve always known this day would come. That she would leave. But now that its here….ugh it really sucks. I haven’t cried about it nearly enough. I held it together so I wouldn’t be a mess at the airport – and I think I held it together too much. Its going to hit me one day and I know it won’t be good! I love this girl. She is the Diana to my Anne, the Piglet to my Pooh. Have I mentioned I love her and am really going to miss her?!


My heart is sad. But in the middle of this sadness I feel joy. Our baby is growing inside of me. Growing, kicking and moving. Oh does this baby like to move. I love the movement though! Well, sometimes its a tad uncomfortable, but so worth it. Being pregnant takes a lot of faith. I can’t see what is happening to the baby. I can read about it, I hear the heartbeat at the doctor’s appointments, but I can’t see the baby growing. I believe she is growing because I am growing. I believe she is healthy because the heartbeat is strong and I haven’t had any problems. Until she comes out I won’t know for sure. I love the feeling of movement because its my sign that everything is good. Its my way of connecting and knowing that my little one is strong and healthy. As much as I won’t miss the aching hips and swollen ankles, I will miss the movement of my small one moving around. What an amazing privilege and honor to carry this life. I constantly marvel and what my body is doing. What a miracle this is. I can’t help but be in awe of God who is transforming my body to give life to this child. It totally boggles my mind.


As you may have guessed from my use of pronouns above we have found out we are having a girl!! I am so excited. I have to admit I was rather shocked because I was SO convinced it was a boy. So convinced in fact that we had chosen a boy name and were calling the baby that. When we found out it was a girl it took me a moment to process! I am beyond excited though to have a little girl. I know I would have felt the same too if it was a boy! I think I’m excited to have a baby – no matter what it is! I think one of the things I am most excited about is seeing Rob with his little girl. There is a special bond between a daddy and his daughter. I have a very special relationship with my dad. And I am excited to see that with our own little family. We are gathering things for the baby. Car seat, stroller, crib, clothes. I’m so thankful for 3 nieces that range from 4 years to 1 year. We have already gotten so many hand-me-downs!  What a blessing!!

Last week I got to go on a little mini holiday. Work has been stressful. I know that’s not good for the baby. So I packed up the car and took a little trip to Kelowna. Rob had to work but I have to use up my holidays before I go on Maternity leave – and Rob is saving the rest of his holiday for when the baby comes. My very dear friend lives there with her family and it was so nice to spend a couple days with them. We went to the park and the beach. Did a bunch of crafting. It was delightful!


Well that was a long one! But I’m caught up for now!

For some reason this didn’t post….so better late then never!

Yesterday was Rob’s birthday. Gosh I love that man. He’s wild, crazy, handsome, generous and loving. He serves me in more ways then I can count. He is my best friend. He challenges me. He is loyal. I can’t put into words how thankful I am for having this man in my life. God truly blessed me when he brought him into my life many years ago.

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This year was a low key year in terms of celebration. We both worked, and then just made a quick, easy dinner and spent the evening just talking and being together. My parents had given him his gift on the weekend (a gift card to a great restaurant) so we had already gone for dinner on the weekend. And we will have a celebration or dinner out with them when they get back from China – they leave on Saturday. Sunday we will have a birthday and Easter Celebration with Rob’s family.

I’m 20 weeks and 1 day today! Our baby is (apparently) the size of a banana. We have our ultrasound tomorrow and find out what we are having!! I’m so excited!! We’ve been calling baby a he but we will know for sure tomorrow and I can’t wait!  I don’t have an updated picture because I’ve been lazy and not felt like being in any pictures. This little one inside me sure likes to make sure I don’t forget that he’s  in there. In the mornings especially he likes to make his presence known. I believe he is doing Irish dancing. Or maybe swimming. I’m not sure what but he sure is moving! As I’m sitting here now, he is very active! Its special for me actually because I’m at work and no one else is really here and its pretty quiet. I sit here and work and baby kicks and I talk to him.

I don’t like eventful.

The last few days of our lives have been interesting to say the least. And not interesting and eventful in a good way.  Let start at the beginning.

March is Rob’s busiest time of year at work. He is in charge of running inventory and its a huge job. So March is always busy, stressful and filled with lots of overtime and weekend work. I know its only a month but it always seems like a long month.

The last week in March I had a little bit of spotting and was feeling a bit concerned. I knew that everything was probably alright. It happened a few more times and I got really anxious. Wednesday night we decided the next morning I was going to call the doctor when they opened. They didn’t open till 10 (so a long morning of anxious waiting!) I called and they of course said to come in and get checked. They only appointment they had was in an hour so I quickly left work and headed to the doctor (my doctor is in the hospital so it makes it seems so much worse and more serious). Rob left work too because he wanted to be with me. This happened Thursday and his biggest day of the whole inventory season is Friday. So really not an ideal time for him to be leaving work!

We get the the hospital and I asked which doctor I was seeing (there are 5 and in my hurry to get an appointment I didn’t even ask who I was seeing) I was so happy when I found out which doctor it was because she was one of my favorites. We got put in an exam room and when the door opened and the doctor walked in I was very surprised – it was a student and only a student. I figured if they were sending the student in alone he must be really good. He asked me a couple of questions, told me everything was fine and normal and was about to send me on my way. No check up, no Doppler to make me feel better, nothing. I wasn’t happy with that because the internet could have told me that spotting was “normal”. I wanted to really know. So I asked if he would run the Doppler so I could hear the heartbeat and feel better. He goes to check me and can’t seem to find the heartbeat. He keeps looking and looking and looking. He’s taking my pulse at the same time. I am at this point totally freaking out. I was already nervous before I went in and not being able to find the heartbeat (which should be pretty easy!). The student doctor is looking very serious and when I asked if there was a problem he didn’t say anything. Rob was holding my hand at this point because he could see me totally falling apart. After a few minutes – I’m sure it was probably only 3 or 4 minutes but it felt like eternity. Rob finally asked if the student could please get the “real doctor”  and the student readily agreed. I think even he could see that things were not going well. The “real doctor” came in and right away I felt more peaceful and in capable hands. She asked me a couple questions and then said “lets listen to your baby” within seconds she had the strong heartbeat and we could even hear the baby moving around! Such relief. So many more tears!! Everything is good, I had just overdone it and needed to rest a little. I have never felt such fear and really in those moments I feel like I became a mother. I really and truly realized how much I wanted this baby and how fiercely I loved it and would have done anything at all for it. I think I can say sitting on that table sobbing on Rob’s shoulder knowing that if something was wrong with our baby our lives would never be the same – I became more connected to the baby then I had been. The early stages of pregnancy are weird – your body is doing so many new and strange things. Pregnancy is more about trying to adjust to the changes in your body then being connected to the person inside you. I think those few terrifying moments shifted my mindset to being connected to my child. I was watching Rob’s face as well, watching him step up and take care of what needed to be taken care of was amazing. I fell in love with him all over again in those moments. I know that I wouldn’t have been strong enough to handle the situation on my own and I am so thankful for a husband who knows me so well and protects and cares so well for our family.

So if that wasn’t enough….

We were starting to look for a new car for me. I’ve been driving a fantastic little car (her name is Britney)


I got her I believe 6 years ago and I’ve put  over 175k Km on her. I’ve put next to no money in to her – oil changes, spark plugs, brakes, and some break & headlights. That is literally all. Maybe I should have done a little more because the last Saturday in March she decided to die.

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Rob and I had just gone for lunch with his mom. A very very delicious lunch I might add, at a really funky little place.

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Love the lights!

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We finished lunch and were going to go visit Babies R Us – Rob’s mom is always happy to look at baby stuff with us and its a great way for us to spend time with her and be productive at the same time!  We were driving along and I heard a little pop and at the same time Rob said “The car just lost power!” Thankfully he was able to quickly pull it over while we still had some momentum and get it off the road – we were going up a busy road and were going up hill! Amazingly there was 2 parking spots in a row so we could coast in and we weren’t in a parking metered zone (2 or 3 blocks further and we would have been!)  We called BCAA and they told us the timing belt was gone and blah blah blah don’t fix it. We called our mechanic – don’t fix it, its not worth it. Another mechanic – don’t fix it, its not worth it. The 2nd BCAA guy that came to tow it – don’t fix it, its not worth it.

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So we got Rob’s brother to come and pick us up and take us home (and take Rob’s mom home!) We hopped in Rob’s car and started looking. Thankfully we had already been looking casually so we sort of had an idea of what we wanted, what our price range was and all that fun stuff.  We had a dream in mind, but just finding that dream was another story. We looked for hours on Saturday and really found nothing. We came up with a plan for Sunday. We drove for HOURS on Sunday and literally looked at hundreds of cars. Nothing was right. We were heading home, tired, discouraged and wet. Did I mention that it was torrentially down pouring all day? Not good car shopping weather. So we decided to stop at once last place. We had been there before, and there was a car there that we were going to settle for and take probably. So we pull in, and go and look at it again. The salesman comes out and asks if we had seen the other one. We tell him we’ve seen them all this is our 3rd time there. He’s like no – over here and leads us over to the corner of the lot. And there in the corner is our car. It met or exceeded every criteria – except color – which is just a perk! It was the price point, the km, the style everything. I think it was the easiest sale that salesman made all day! It just had to be detailed and inspected. It had been on the lot for less the 24 hours! God knew what we needed and provided it. I had 1 day that I had to get my boss to drive me to work (he lives pretty close so it wasn’t too big a deal) and Rob to pick me up from work – taking transit would have taken 2 hours one way so that wasn’t really an option! Monday after work I got to pick up the car. What a treat this car is! I’m in love. I went grocery shopping yesterday and filled the trunk and was so excited to have usable and accessible trunk space!

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The time of this whole car situation was the weekend between Rob’s busiest week of the year at work and my busiest week of the year at work – Rob had inventory and I had an upcoming price increase. So this past week I was driving to work in my fancy new car but I was hardly able to enjoy it because I was working loong hours and was so exhausted. This weekend I really actually enjoyed the car!

Friday night Rob and I went out to the Keg for dinner. We had some gift certificates and went for  a much needed relaxing date. Rob got wine and I got a nice fruity virgin drink.We ordered expensive things off the menu. It was lovely. On Rob’s second to last bite he found a tiny little bit of plastic in his mashed potatoes. It really wasn’t a big deal. He told the server just to let go not to worry but just let the kitchen know.  She told the manager who promptly came over and apologized and asked if we wanted dessert or anything. Rob reiterated that it wasn’t an issue he knows things like that happen but just wanted to the kitchen to be aware. When the server came over she said that the manager had comped Rob’s dinner! Totally unexpected, and unneeded but a nice little blessing. Now we can go back again! We feel bad because we really weren’t trying to get anything free out of the situation but I guess being kind and polite sometimes pays off.

Like I said its been an eventful 2 weeks. Its been draining and busy so busy. I have things to look forward too though. Next week Rob and I have Wednesday & Thursday off work – Friday is already a stat holiday so we have a nice little stretch of days off in a row together. On Wednesday we have our ultrasound and get to find out if its a boy or a girl!! I’m beyond excited! The timing is perfect because my parents leave for China on Saturday so they get to find out before they leave.  So in the middle of this busy and stressful time I have things to look forward too!

16 1/2 weeks

I can’t believe how quickly time is passing. I look down at my belly which seems to be growing oh so quickly, the months between doctors visits seem to be flying by. I know that soon the visits will be closer together. Just a few more weeks until our next ultra sound – where we find out if its a boy or a girl! I am so excited to be meeting this little one. But not so excited that I’m not savoring this time. Our lives are about to dramatically change. In every possible way. I’m enjoying my one on one time with Rob. I’m enjoying this little round tummy. I’m trying to enjoy the things that I know I take for granted right now. Running into the grocery store to pick up that one thing we forgot for dinner is a lot more work with a baby in the back seat! I am though looking forward to eating non-vegetarian sushi and having a glass of wine.


My little baby bump. Its pretty little but in the last few weeks I’ve gone a little more from “packing on the pounds” to maybe just maybe having a baby in there!



5 Things 6 Pictures

I saw this on a blog and put it in my drafts because I wanted to try this sometime. I’m not always good at thinking of things to write so sometimes I need a little help with ideas. I’m feeling a bit nostalgic today so most of these will be old pictures. 


5 Things I have a passion for…

In no particular order.

1. Travel – I think everyone needs to travel. I have traveled to several countries. Its opened my eyes to different cultures and people. Food and languages. I’ve learned and I’ve grown through my travels. My time in Israel was life changing. Not only for my relationship with God, but it gave me confidence. It was my first time really and truly doing something on my own. It was one of the hardest and scariest things I’ve ever done. Everyone needs to experience other parts of the world. I may have gone into debt for that trip but it was worth every single penny. 

2.  Reading – I love to read. It makes me happy. I feel peaceful. Relaxed. Books feel like a safe place. They make me laugh. And cry. My parents instilled reading good quality books. And always read the book before you watch the movie. The book is always better. The movie steals away your ability to imagine the characters yourself.

3. God – I grew up in a Christian home. As I have grown my relationship and grown and shifted and changed. God is the center of my life. He is the reason I am here today. The reason there is a baby growing in me. The reason that I have an awesome marriage.

4. People – I am an introvert. I don’t do well in large groups. I don’t like parties or places where I have to small talk. But I love my friends.I am fiercely loyal. I have a small group of close friends. I would do anything for them. Anything. I love them dearly. Through thick and thin they have been beside me. We’ve laughed and cried together. I may not do well with lots of people – but if you are in my circle of friends – you have a friend for life.

5.  Family – As I said before I am very loyal. You hurt someone in my family, you hurt me! I love my nephews and nieces. I love being an aunt. I love having 2 families – my family and Rob’s family are very different and I love that. I love family and I am so excited to be starting my own and be doing it with the love and support of both of our families.


5 Things I would like to do before I die…

I’m dreaming here people…

1. Own/rent a cottage – preferably on a body of water with a nice beach. I grew up going to Sechelt. Its on the Sunshine Coast of BC. You have to take a ferry to get there. Our cottage (pictured above) was directly on the ocean. My sister and I would sleep on the porch – falling asleep to the sound of the waves and the calls of the loons. We would wake up to the seagulls. We would swim, make sand castles and forts. Bird watch. I want my kids to grow up with fond memories like that.

2. Travel – Like I said I’m passionate about travel. There are so many other places I want to go. The east coast of Canada, Greece, Scotland, Iceland, Turkey, Holland….the world is a big place there are so many places to go. 

3. Have a family – I know its something I’m in the process of but – its something I’ve always wanted so its going on the list. I’ve always dreamed of having kids. My 2 closest friends both have young kids and I want my kids to be friends with their kids. My best friend and I are friends because our parents were good friends and I would love to carry that tradition on. 

4. Continue to do things that scare me – I’m not a thrill seeker. I like to do fun things but if it is at all “adventurous” I don’t think I want to do it. Thankfully Rob is very adventurous and gets me to do things that are waaay out of my comfort zone. I always enjoy myself but on my own I would never have the courage to push myself to experience those things. I need that little push and I want to keep getting pushed. Although I don’t think Rob is ever going to get to push me out of a plane – he can skydive all he wants but that thrill is all his! 

5. Take more pictures of the people I love – I love seeing old pictures of my relatives. I wish that they had more. I know that I don’t take nearly as many pictures as I used to. I want to take more so my kids have lots of pictures and memories.

5 Things I say a lot…

1. “Good Morning/Afternoon Victaulic Emily speaking” – I say that way too often! That is how I answer the phone at work.

2. “I love you” – I also text and type that a lot too. 

3. “There is a problem in this house“- I say that to Rob when I want a hug and I don’t think I’ve had enough yet in the day. 

4. “Let me look into that and I will get back to you” – Another work phrase. Code for “I have NO idea what is happening” 

5. When I get really worried or stressed (which I tend to do) I pray that “the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard my heart and mind through Jesus”. I used to get really, really scared when I was younger (to the point I would make myself physically sick) and my mom would pray that the peace that passes all understanding would wash over me. It always did and that has something that has always comforted me. Whenever I start to panic I pray that and I calm down. 


Books I have read lately…

1. Beautiful as Yesterday – by – Fan Wu – This wasn’t the most rip roaring book. I was expecting a little more from it based on the reviews but I enjoyed it. It was a nice story that got all wrapped up at the end. 

2. Book Thief – by Markus Zusak-  I’m currently reading this. It took me a while to get into but I’m hooked now. 

3. Cuckoos Calling – by J. K. Rowling/”Robert Galbraith” – Written by JK Rowling under her pen name. Its a crime/mystery drama. It was a really good story with lots of twists and turns. But there was a few times were it dragged and then picked back up. 

4. Four to Score – by Janet Evanovich – This is a fun series about a female bounty hunter. A quick, easy and humorous read. 

5. Mr. Monk Gets on Board – I’m currently reading this. I love the Monk books (and TV show) we buy every book as soon as it comes out. The author has just recently changed but the books are still just as good. These have to be read in order though! 


5 Favorite Movies…

1. Princess Bride – Hands down best movie ever. I can literally quote the entire movie. I’m actually serious. I’ve read the script. Multiple times. We have watched it countless times as a family. I made Rob watch it when we got married. He hates it. We almost got a divorce. It is an epic movies – after all it has it all fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…

2. Ever After – I don’t know why I love this movie so much but I can watch it over and over. I guess its the grown up fairy tale and I’m just a little girl at heart! 

3. Sweet Home Alabama  – ” Why would you want to marry me for, anyhow?” “So I can kiss you anytime I want.” So many good quotes from this movie. It always makes me laugh and I get a little teary at the end too.

4. Anne of Green Gables – Childhood favorite. We didn’t own many movies growing up, but we owned this and I’ve watched it a million times. I’ve read all the books. Multiple times and while the movies aren’t as good I still love them. Except the Continuing Story. It was terrible and I actually threw out my copy of it! 

5. Scarlet Pimpernel with Jane Seymour and Anthony Andrews – “They seek him here, they seek him there,  Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.  Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell?  That damned elusive Pimpernel!” We had a copy of this when I was younger and I loved it. Its been a few years since I’ve seen it but I know that its a classic!


5 Places I would like to travel to…

1. Italy – we went last year but I would love to go back – probably now not until the kids are grown up – but I would love to go spend some time in the countryside. Exploring, eating, drinking wine and relaxing.

2. Greece – I’ve always wanted to see once of those white cities on the side of a hill with the beautiful blue water below. 

3.  East Coast of Canada – I’ve been to Prince Edward Island – but I’d love to go back. I’d also love to go to New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. 

4. Scotland/Ireland – I’ve got some Scottish in my blood so I’d love to see some rolling hills and castles 

5. Iceland – Same thing – I’ve grown up with an Icelandic last name – which when I got married I was happy to have a name that was easier to spell and pronounce I was a little sad to loose that Icelandic tie. Iceland is beautiful and I’d love to see where my relatives came from. 

Loss and Life

8 years ago today an amazing, incredible, beautiful and vibrate woman died. 



My Grandma. It was sudden, unexpected and shocking. Our family has such a hole. My Grandpa has never been the same. They were together for so long. I can’t even imagine what life is like for him. 

In the picture above I have the necklace and the earrings she is wearing. I used to wear them all the time. I would put them on and feel closer to her. Now I put them on and feel sad – because when I wear them I think of her. And I think of all the things that she doesn’t get to be part of. And I grieve. I thought this would get easier as time passed. Some times it does. Life goes on and its normal not to see her when I visit Grandma. But as I’ve gotten married and now am going to have a baby – its SO much harder. I wish she could be part of this. To see the family grow. 

A couple weeks ago Rob and I went to tell Grandpa about our baby. He’s never shown much emotion. We’ve always known he loved us – no doubt about it. He never says it, and his way of showing it is usually by giving money or teasing. He just doesn’t know how to express himself. Since Grandma died he’s had pretty much one expression – nothing. Smiles are rare. He is sad, depressed and lonely. He doesn’t talk much no matter how hard you try to draw him out. So we had told him we were pregnant and he said “Oh that is exciting”. We sat there trying to talk but its hard because he doesn’t say much. There was a pause – he was staring across the room to a book shelf filled with pictures. There is of course a picture of Grandma. He said “Look who watches me all day long”. I knew that was his way of saying he missed her and wished she could be there to celebrate with us. As we left and I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him I loved him – he said it back as he kissed me. Its so rare to hear that from him. My heart hurts not only for me – but for him. My loss is deep. His must be so much deeper. 



A rare smile at a St. Patrick’s day celebration last year. 



Happy times many years ago. A road trip to Alberta. 


A tomato from Grandma’s garden which she brought to our cabin in Sechelt. 

I miss Grandma. So much. I’m sad she isn’t her to see our baby. Today I remember her with much love and fondness. I remember the happy times. The fun, the laughter and the love. SO much love from her. There are things of hers around our house and even though sometimes they make me sad – I am thankful to have reminders of her love and of who she was. I’m thankful for such an amazing Grandmother. 

Its odd to be dealing with this sadness at the same time I am feeling such large amounts of joy. I have a baby growing inside me!! It still shocks me sometimes. According to my little app on my phone the baby is about the size of an avocado. It must be a really large avocado though because last week it was the size of a navel orange! Something doesn’t seem quite right to me but I get the idea! My body is doing strange things – growing, hurting and stretching. I have odd pains and feelings. Sometimes its scary. Sometimes its super exciting. Sometimes its overwhelming. My body doesn’t feel like my body anymore. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and wonder who I am. I have a feeling that is going to be normal. My body isn’t mine anymore. My body is keeping someone else alive! That is a crazy thought. My body is giving another body life.

We went to the doctor on the weekend and she did the Doppler for the first time. We had heard the heart beat when we had our first ultrasound in February but we hadn’t heard it since then. When I heard the heartbeat this weekend I realized I had been holding my breath! I just needed to hear my baby and know that everything was ok!

A few random things about me

  1. I love lists. All over my car and the house are scraps of paper that I have used for lists and notes. I have an Android that has a really great spot for notes and lists but its just not the same as paper
  2. I hate being late. Despise being late. Even being 5 minutes late stresses me out.
  3. I love yoga pants. I wear them far too much. They are just so comfortable.
  4. I love folding laundry. I love the fresh smell and the feeling of turning a pile of mess into neat tidy piles.
  5. I love to bake. Or I love the idea of baking. But if it doesn’t turn out totally perfect I am not happy with it. I want perfection and if I can’t master that I beat myself up.
  6. I hate saying no to people. I feel like I am letting them down.
  7. I’m not a great cook. I am great at being a cooks assistant and doing prep-work and being a helper but I really am a horrible cook. Rob doesn’t agree – but I’ve only made one really great meal!
  8. I love the idea of getting dressed up and going out, but I mostly just love being at home in yoga pants. The whole time I am dressed up and out I am thinking about getting home and changing.
  9. I love reading. I don’t really like reading non-fiction. Reading for me is a way to unwind and relax. I want a good story.
  10. I am incredibly socially awkward. I think I hide it pretty well, but walking into a room of people terrifies me. Even if I know them all really well. I want to run and hide.
  11. Due to the fact that I social gathering make me very uncomfortable – I hate showers – baby showers and bridal showers. My own bridal shower was pretty awesome. But in general I try to avoid them. You know I really love you a lot if I go to your shower. If I don’t go I will send a gift but I will try to get out of going. And shower games….ugh, I despise them!
  12. I hate voice mail. Leaving it and receiving it. I don’t listen to it. So don’t bother leaving me a message. Its a pain. Just call me back. Or text me.
  13. I want to be crafty. I really want to create and make things. Sew, knit, quilt, anything really. I don’t know how to do it and because I’m a perfectionist I’m afraid to take chances unless I have someone helping and holding my hand.
  14. If I’m ever home alone I will probably be in a nice hot bubble bath, with a book and ideally a glass of wine. These days though its a warm bath and a glass of juice 🙂
  15. I have a double ear lobe – well that is what we call it – it looks like someone took a tiny bite out of the bottom of my ear.